In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or suit with the Manolo's or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know he wants you. Go get him girl. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful, you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

No, offering to make dinner can be a daunting affair and planning is essential if things are to go well. The first mistake people make is in trying to be too impressive. Most people can cook something of merit if they put their mind to it, but reaching for an experts guide to Filo pastry is not going to win your dating heart unless you know what you are doing.

If you have certain sexual outlooks and preferences you actively seek the same. There is no stigma about this, the fact is, we are guided in our choices by our sexual view of the world. If we are shy or sex does not play a big part in our world then we may actively seek someone similar. There is no point dating a stallion if we don't enjoy sex. Then again if we are shy, maybe we are seeking a teacher. Marrying someone as a virgin is often now seen as too risky in the bigger scheme of things due to the risk of sexual incompatibility.

When we are actively dating we sometimes forget what the end game is all about - relationships. We can forget why we are dating in the first place and what we hope to achieve. The result of this is that when we finally meet someone we like and spend time with them and start falling in love, we panic. This doesn't just apply to the archetypal male, but to women too. Yes getting involved is scary stuff. Remember this why you are dating in the first place. The end result of dating is a relationship, maybe a long term one, maybe a relationship even leading to marriage. Therefore take your time and get it right.

Making time for each other is essential as are shared experiences, vacations and simply being there. Making your relationship a priority in your lives is also absolutely essential. Often this will mean putting yourself second and taking a back seat. It may mean that your choices aren't a priority and that you won't always be first.

The best dating are the simplest, the least forced, the most natural. The best dating can happen with a complete stranger out of nowhere, or are planned weeks in advance by making special plans to win your dating's heart. I remember chatting with a person on an Internet dating site on Saturday evening and within an hour of first chatting we had met for a drink. That Saturday evening in Chicago was tremendous fun, the person fantastic company, 4 hours of laughter and great food. We swapped life stories and details of the smallest things about our lives and for those briefest of hours everything was fabulous. Due to travel etc., we never met again but the point is that a perfect dating can really be that unplanned.

If you are going to blow the situation it is now. You got over the first major hurdle but now she or he will be paying particular attention to seek confirmation about certain assumptions they have already made. If you presented a false image first time round you will get caught out now. If you told lies, you will have to be extremely careful about what you say.

The fact is, we all get tired of it - dating. I do and maybe you do too. Yes its true, we get tired of trying to meet people we like. We go through hell on earth to meet someone, elicit their details, spend ages and ages chatting, emailing, messaging, writing, phoning and then we go dating. And then we go dating again. And it comes to nothing. And ultimately dating fatigue sets in. We singles know this feeling and yet it is rarely discussed and even less written about. The fact is, being single is hard work and it wears us out.

One of the pet peeves of a man is when women harshly criticize women, especially to their face. Sometimes this is a competitive thing that goes on between two or more women, because they feel threatened by other women. It is a sign of insecurity.